Epipahny
by MicahsCornChickLP
Summary: Songfic to Staind's "Epiphany", Harry is the main character. Takes place after graduation.


Epiphany: A Harry Potter Songfic  
  
  
  
**Disclaimer**All of the elements in this fic (characters, places, remembrances) belong to the Talented Mrs. JK Rowling. The lyrics come from #7 on Staind's "Break the Cycle," and it is called Epiphany. (story title) Even though the characters may seem a little OOC, that's alright. Enjoy! If you like this, please feel free to read any of my other HP fics, most of them revolve around Draco, but this one doesn't!  
  
*Your words to me just a whisper  
  
Your faces so unclear  
  
I try to pay attention  
  
Your words just disappear *  
  
Hullo. I'm Harry Potter. Yep, defeater seven times over of the Dark Lord Voldemort, and I'm sure you've heard of me. At Hogwarts, well, I don't want to talk about Hogwarts right now. I'll get to it later. Promise. Anyway, back to me of course, because I'm Harry Potter, and everything revolves around me. I still don't know why that is, though. Yes I have a scar, it's fading a bit though. Everyone's made such a huge deal over it all these years, that stupid scar. Especially Hermione and Ron, my so- called best friends all seven years at Hogwarts.  
  
*'Cause it's always raining in my head  
  
Forget all the things I should have said *  
  
  
  
I hated them. I'm almost sure they knew it, too. Hermionie's bloody brilliant, and Ron's no Neville. They must've known. It wasn't like I kept it very well hidden. Ok, I'll admit it. First year wasn't all that bad. I didn't know anyone well enough to hate. Second and third years got progressively worse. Fourth year really was the clincher, though. Ron had gotten too annoying for words, and it got to the point where I wanted Professor Moody to change him into a frog for use in some class. By that time I was so sick of the Weasel in his hand me downs and his whining that I didn't care what he did or didn't do. But, Hermione. She didn't have hand me downs, and she didn't whine.  
  
  
  
*So I speak to you in riddles because  
  
My words get in my way. I smoke the  
  
whole thing to my head and feel it  
  
Wash away 'Cause I can't take anymore  
  
Of this, I want to come apart,  
  
or dig myself a little hole inside  
  
your precious heart *  
  
  
  
I lied before. I didn't, well, don't hate Hermione. I just say that as a cover up. The truth is, I loved her, and I still do. She must've had something against me though. Fourth year, by owl, I asked her to the Yule ball. She thought it was from Krum, so when he really did ask her, she accepted. My heart broke Then, when I had to go with Parvati, and see them together, dancing, it just about killed me. That wasn't the worst of it, though. Krum dumped her the second he left Hogwarts. Never even gave her a reason. Those were good times, at least for me, because Hermione came to me for consolation. I can't tell you how many afternoons we wandered around the Hogwarts grounds, holding hands and talking about nothing and everything. There were times that I wanted to tell her who the owl had really been from, but that was where my "friend" Ron stepped in. He always managed to get into the middle of things, and this was no exception. All I wanted was for her to love me. I would've given up everything just to have her, and up until a few weeks ago, still would have. Now it doesn't matter. Nothing does.  
  
  
  
*'Cause it's always raining in my head  
  
Forget all the things I should have said  
  
I am nothing more than a little boy inside  
  
That cries out for attention,  
  
though I always try to hide *  
  
Ron's place was not with Hermione, and he knew that. But fate works in mysterious ways. Maybe it was - is - all for the best. Anyway, now I know that Draco and Snape were right. Fame isn't everything. There is more than fame, but I still have yet to figure out what that 'more' is, exactly. I've been famous for nearly my whole life, and I've never once known what it's like to be normal. Even with the Dursleys, things weren't normal. They hated me. Now, in the wizarding world, everyone looks at me like a zoo animal. People I don't even know come up and talk to me. Hello, people, I am not Godric Gryffindor! I didn't destroy Lord Voldemort, just prolonged his rise to and abuse of power. But maybe it's because I did this more than once. Maybe, if I had just let him kill me, then things would have been different. I don't know, and I never will. I should have thought of those things before.  
  
  
  
*And I talk to you like children,  
  
though I don't know how I feel  
  
But I know I'll do the right thing  
  
If the right thing is revealed *  
  
I suppose I'm going to miss them, even though I'm committed to my decision. What else could I be? The more I think about it, the more confidant I feel. This is clearly something that I should have done before. It would have saved me a lot of trouble. Draco was probably one of the smartest people in our year, and I'm just now realizing it. I haven't seen or talked to many of them since school let out, and that was months ago. When I say any of them, I mean the old group. I didn't hate all of the Weasleys, in face, Fred and George have become good friends. I'm going to see them, along with their wives, in a bit. Fred married Angelina, and George married Percy's ex, Penelope Clearwater. Strange, isn't it? It'll be even stranger going back under these circumstances. Even though I'm a little nervous, I have nothing to fear. Dumbledore came to visit a few days ago. We talked for a long time, and he knows. Says he knew it would only be a matter of time before I gave in. He advised me to be as normal as I could, jeep things how they used to be.  
  
That's where I'm going now. The Gryffindors from our year, along with the Weasley twins and Wood were having a reunion at the Three Broomsticks. Going will force me to watch Hermione flash her engagement ring from Ron at anything that breathes, but she's happy. The thought hurts me, but I can deal with it. There's a knock on my door, and without waiting for an answer, it opens and three figures walk in. Nodding to the Weasley twins and Draco, they walk over to me. Looking down, the watch as I peel a small bandage away from my left forearm, exposing a tiny tattoo. The tattoo is in the shape of a skull with a protruding snake as a tongue. The skin around it is still red, but the pain has gone. I now have two scars. Perhaps one of the cancels out the other. I don't know. In succession, Fred, George, and Draco all push their sleeves up, exposing similar tattoos. We all became death eaters on the same day, except Draco. He trusted me enough to ask me to join him and serve the Lord. I trusted the Weasleys, and Draco, who had been a Death Eater since the age of sixteen, had taken us to the initiation. We were all friends now, and had invited Draco to the reunion with us. It was bound to cause some surprise, but we knew that no one would mind. Pulling our sleeves back down, the four of us walked out the door, on our way. As I walked, I tried to ignore the voices telling me to run, that I could still get out of what I had committed myself to.  
  
Paying no attention, they soon die away. I am safe. My enemies are few and far between, because, I, Harry potter, have become a Death Eater. I'm not alone, and I'll never have to fight Voldemort again. Everyone still admires me, and with the information that I could provide, the Death Eaters know it's important to keep me happy. I'd never turn on them, though. They're my friends. That's another thing. I have a lot of friends, and here I was, going back to be with the people I despised. It is, however, only for one day, and I will get to see Hermione. That reminds me, I haven't done my initiation dare yet. The Mudblood - Hermione - was . never mind. It doesn't matter. I'm Harry Potter, and I've made my choice.  
  
*But it's always raining in my head  
  
Forget all the things I should have said * said 


End file.
